


What About Angels?

by supermegafoxyawesomehotfredweasley



Category: Supernatural
Genre: ... but mostly happy i promise, Cancer, Dogfight The Musical, F/M, Give Way-Song, Hospital, If/Then The musical, Kisses, M/M, Multi, OFC - Freeform, Theater - Freeform, What The Fuck-song, Young Love, broadway songs - Freeform, charlie is a mystery, cute duets - Freeform, i mean these prolly gonna be death, idk - Freeform, it will have a happy ending, maybe not for everyone..., maybe smut later?, rent - Freeform, sick, such is life, we'll see, yay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-18
Updated: 2016-01-25
Packaged: 2018-05-02 05:11:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5235446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supermegafoxyawesomehotfredweasley/pseuds/supermegafoxyawesomehotfredweasley
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam gets cancer but his Theater family is determined to get him through it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Doctor and The News

Sam was used to being the tallest person in the room, but in the tiny examination room, he felt even larger than normal. He sat on the leather table covered in butcher paper, while his father, John, sat in one of the uncomfortable green chairs in the corner of the plain room. The doctor had gone from glad to see Sam, who always tried to stay healthy, to grim faced as Sam explained his symptoms and told him about the large bruise on his leg from when he had run into a table ... a month ago. The he told Sam that he wanted to do some tests. The tests would include taking some of Sam’s blood and making sure nothing was out of the ordinary. Judging by the way it was said the doctor didn’t think it would end well, not that any of the three men in the room said so. Sam, who didn't want John to worry, sent his father to go get him something to eat while the tests were going on. 

Sam was glad he had made sure to make the appointment when Dean was busy and not tell his brother how sick he had been feeling lately. Simply saying, “I’m fine Dean. I’m sure it's just a bug,” whenever his brother asked. The tests had taken a while but his father had stayed away while they were going on, having sensed that Sam wanted to be alone. Sam thanked the heavens for that. After the tests were over and John had returned, they sat in a small room for a while. John just stared at the eggshell colored walls while Sam tapped out the rhythm of You Can’t Stop The Beat from Hairspray. It was the show Sam had met Gabriel in. Three years later he and his boyfriend were still going strong, Gabriel even wore Sam’s class ring. 

He was about to take a walk down memory lane when the doctor came back into the room. He had an ‘I’m sorry to inform you’ kind of expression on his face. He didn’t say anything for a moment as he sat down at the tiny desk in the room. Sam began to get nervous and fidgeted with the flimsy paper underneath him. The Doctor set his clipboard down and finally spoke, his face expressionless, while his dad’s look got more grave by the second, and Sam? Well He didn’t hear much after the word “Cancer.”

Telling Dean and Gabriel had been the worst, Sam knew it would be. Everyone else was as easy as it could have been because he had already known how they would react. He had expected Jess’ tears and blubbering. He knew Ruby would say something along the lines of, “Oh please, not even cancer could stop Sam’s stubborn ass,” as she tried to hide how upset she was. He even guessed Castiel’s sad smile and hug. But Dean and Gabriel... he couldn’t prepare himself for that. 

Sam sat at the lunch table and thought about what had happened when he told Dean. He had told Dean the night before. He sat on the couch after the appointment and when Dean got home late after work Sam was still there waiting for him. He had a paper bag in his hand with greasy splotches all over it, which Sam assumed held a bacon cheeseburger and french fries. He looked down at Sam and smiled, “Hiya Sammy. I found a bill from the doc on the counter, you okay?”

Sam took a deep breath knowing he needed to tell Dean but not knowing how. “Um about that... shit.”

Sam buried his face in his hands and tears began to seep from his eyes. Dean put down the burger he had started on and scooted closer to Sam. “Sammy, what is it?”

Sam took a shaky breath and looked up at his brother, “Dean, I-I have Cancer.”

Dean’s completely blank face as he tried to stop himself from looking as upset as Sam knew he was. It was enough to make sam strat balling for the third time that day. Dean pulled Sam into a hug as his younger brother sobbed into his shoulder. Dean rubbed his back in circles, “Sh Sammy, it’s okay. We’ll get through this, we always do.”

Dean wasn’t sure if he believed what he was saying as he fought the tears that threatened to fall onto Sam’s sweater. Sam knew he didn’t believe Dean, but he had to pretend he did. He would be okay. 

Sam told Gabriel as soon as he sat down at their lunch table as everyone was sitting down. As soon as it was out of his mouth Gabriel's always sparkling eyes dulled and his constant happy mask cracked. He now wore a completely broken look that Sam had never seen on his face. Gabriel was the best actor in their high school’s theater troupe and was almost always the lead, or one of them at least, and Sam still had never seen so much pain in his eyes, fake or real. Never. Not once. 

“Sammy? I’m the Trickster and this is sick, even by my standards. Please tell me this is a sick joke Sammich. Please.” Tears began to well up in his eyes. 

Sam felt a lump rise in his throat and his voice cracked as he pleaded, “Don’t cry Gabe, please. Please don't cry. Dean’s refusal to cry was hard enough. I won't be able to take it if you cry.” 

Gabriel buried his face in Sam’s chest and hugged him tight. This hug was different from most they shared. It didn’t lovingly whisper I love you, it loudly pleaded with Sam Don’t Leave Me. Sam put a hand in either side of his boyfriend’s face and pulled it up. Sam looked into Gabriel's tear soaked face and wiped the tears away, “Hey. Hey. I am not going anywhere okay? Someone has to make sure you don’t totally derail and if I’m not here who’s gonna do that? Huh?”

“Cancer, Sam.”

“Babe, I know. But the doctor said with they chemo there’s a 60% chance it will never come back.” 

“Sam, that leaves a 40% chance.”

“Baby I promise I will beat this for you. And we will have that apple pie life in New York.”

Gabriel smiled up at Sam, “You better. I love you Sam.”

“I love you too Gabe.”

Gabriel finally started picking at his food, Sam sitting next to him. They were all quiet for a few minutes and Sam looked around the table. Gabriel silently sucked on a lollipop to his left. To Sam’s right was Jess, who was playing with the ring on her finger and hadn’t touched her food since the word cancer had left Sam’s mouth. Funny how that worked. Next to her was Ruby (his ex-girlfriend who ironically turned out to be almost as gay as he was after they broke up). Ruby’s sarcastic remark may have seemed heartless to anyone outside their little group, but it shouted to anyone who knew her that she was worried. Ruby was sitting next to her girlfriend, who was also the only person who could keep her in check, Jo. Jo just looked down, almost like a kicked puppy. Jo was a year younger than Sam and two years younger than Dean. She was like a little sister and had always looked up to them. This was a hard blow. Next to Jo was Anna, Gabriel’s youngest sibling. And besides Castiel, she was the closest. She saw the pain and worry plastered on her older brothers’ faces. She too had begun to look up to Sam, and she sat quietly, hoping her silent tears were going unnoticed. Meg sat across from her. Sam remembered a time before he and Gabriel got together, when he would gushing sessions in the costume room with Jess, Meg, and Anna about the cute theater boys. Meg normally wanted to be in the middle of the action, but not this time, she wanted to distance herself from the thought of Sam being so sick. She wanted to get as far as she could from the idea that what was killing one of her best friends was also made of him. Adam, a Freshman and the youngest of the three Winchester brothers, sobbed silently into his boyfriend, Samandriel’s shoulder. Samandriel didn’t know what to do with the information he had just received, so he just rubbed circles on Adam’s back. There’s no way this is happening, it can’t be. Balthazar was in a similar boat to Samandriel, How could his best friend’s kid brother have cancer? He saw the look on Jess’ face and reached across the table to take his girlfriend’s hand. He was sitting next to Dean, who was holding Cas and trying not to cry. Castiel was sitting across the table from Gabe doing the same. 

Sam had looked around the table twice by the time Gabriel decided he would refuse to make this day harder on Sam. So he did what he was best at, he broke the silence. “So what are they gonna do Sammy?”

Sam gave him half of a smile. Gabriel knew it was fake, but he was happy to see one nonetheless. Sam squeezed his hand and spoke, “Six to eight months of chemo. Starting Monday, every Monday, till hopefully, it’s gone. It’ll be absolute hell and I’ll miss classes that day. They hope I’ll be able to stay in school, but that hasn’t been determined yet.”

“Then I’ll get you all your wok and every monday after school you’ll be stuck with my butt helping with whatever you missed.” Gabriel said. 

Sam pulled him in for a hug. Then for the first time all lunch period, Anna spoke, “Sam how-” her voice shook, “how bad is it?”

Gabriel pulled away to look at Sam, who just looked down at his lap. He didn’t say a word and that’s when Jess spoke up, “Sam.”

Tears threatened Sam’s eyes as he looked up at all his friends, “It’s not a death sentence now. But it doesn’t look good. The chemo they are using works on most people. but they also said that that particular string spreads quickly, which is why they are starting me on the chemo so quickly. That means if I hadn’t gone in, they said I wouldn’t have made it to Dean’s graduation. . .” 

The first thing that crossed Gabriel’s mind was the dreaded what if, his heart clenched at the thought and he clenched Sam’s hand harder. With his other hand he caressed Gabriel’s face, “But they fund it.” He looked around the table at his brother and all his friends, “They found it and it’s going to be okay.”

There Sam was reassuring his friends that everything would be fine, he had a sixty percent chance it would be gone for good after the chemo, and possibly losing a leg (they weren’t sure yet). The thing he had told Dean, but no one else, is that there was a forty percent chance that the cancer would reject the treatment, spread, and become terminal quickly. Sam made Dean promise not to tell anyone. 

After school that day Sam had the third theater club meeting of the year. They were going to announce the musical they would be doing this year. Sam being Co-President of the group with Gabe meant that he was one of three people who knew what it was. The others being Gabriel, and of course Jmill, the best theater teacher ever. 

When Sam had gotten to school that morning Jmill was the first person he had told about his... condition. Her response was to wrap him in a hug. Then she told him, “Sam you are one of the strongest people I know. You are going to be just fine. And you know I am just a phone call away if you need anything.”

Jmill was like a mother to Sam. His biological mom had died in a house fire when he was six months old. Jmill had become that person for him. When he had come out, Jmill was there for him, she was completely supportive, and even helped him tell his father. Sam was so thankful he’d have her around for all this. She and Gabriel had even agreed to help Sam break the news to the group. They knew it was something he didn’t want to and simply couldn’t do alone. Especially since the group was like his family. 

Sam and Gabe got up to start the meeting. Gabe cupped his hands around his mouth like a megaphone and shouted over the buzz, “Yo! Shut your cake holes! It’s time to get this show on the road!”

Sam laughed before saying, “Alright first things first! Time to announce this year’s musical, Rent!”

Everyone in the room cheered except for Gabriel. Because in that moment he realised that Sam would no longer be able to audition for the role of Collins like he had always wanted to. It made him want to cry... again. Then it was time, Jmill walked up to the front of the room and wrapped an arm around each boy. Sam took a shaky breath unsure if he could do this for a second time in less than three hours. 

“Alright you guys,” Jmill started. “The show is very exciting, I know, but there is something you all need to know.”

“And please for my sake don’t let it put a damper on the show,” Sam said. “But as you all know, I haven’t been feeling well. I went to the doctors and got news I didn’t want to hear, ever. I have cancer. It’s called osteosarcoma.” 

It went about as well as Sam thought it would. Lots of tears, sympathy, and of course questions. It went just like lunch had. The only comfort Sam had was Gabriel's warm hand in his and Jmill’s reassurance. 

He hadn’t started his fight, but Sam had already decided that having cancer sucked ass.


	2. The Prince and The Cueball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just some Sabriel fluff.

Sam was sitting on his bed with Gabriel in his arms. It felt like a normal day, almost. It would have been nice, if it weren’t for the palpable fear that hung in the air. It was quiet, both of them just enjoying the other’s presence while they thought they still could. It made same want to both smile and scream at the same time. He hadn’t felt at all in control of his life since the doctor told him. He couldn’t take it. 

“Gabe,” Sam said, getting his boyfriend’s attention. “I want you to shave my head.”

“What!?”

“You heard me.” Sam looked at Gabriel, who was momentarily showed his relation to his brother, Castiel, by tilting his head to the side in confusion.

“But Sammy, you love your hair.”

“I know Gabe but it’s one more thing on a long list that Cancer is going to take away from me. It’s one thing I have control of. I will not wake up one day to find a chunk of hair on my pillow. So you are gonna help me make sure it doesn’t happen. Right now.”

Gabe’s eyes widened, “Right now?”

Sam nodded, and positively said, “Right. Now.”

Gabriel sat still for a moment, unsure if this was a joke or not, then he shrugged and got up. Sam was right behind him. The pair walked down the hall and into the small tiled bathroom. Sam sat on the edge of the bed while Gabe rifled around under the sink until he found the razor. Gabe plugged it in and stood in front of Sam, razor in hand. Sam gave a small nod to his boyfriend and Gabriel flipped the switch. He touched it to Sam’s hairline and chunks of thick light brown hair fell from his head and into the tub like a strange rain.

“Gabe...” Sam whined. “You’re going too slow!”

“Well, I’m so sorry. Pardon me for now wanting to hurt you!” Gabe sassed him.

Sam’s face changed from light and joking to serious in a second, “Gabe, I hav-”

“No. Sam. I refuse to hurt you. So stop it. Right now.” Gabriel said seriously and shut off the razor.

“Fine but hurry up! It’s too late for me to change my mind so let’s get it over with!” Sam said slightly anxious. 

Gabe giggled and poked his boyfriend’s shoulder playfully, “I don’t know Sammy. you still have half your hair, a comb over might work.”

“Don’t even joke about that! Gross!” Sam laughed, “Just finish already Gabe!”

Dean walked by in that moment, “Top ten things Sam said on his wedding night!”

Sam and Gabriel both yelled, “Hey!!” They then realised it was pretty funny and cracked up. When they finally calmed down, Gabriel turned the razor on again, and finished shaving Sam’s head. Then Sam stood up and looked in the mirror.

“GABE!” Sam busted up laughing again, “You missed by my - haha - ears! I look ridiculous!!”

Gabriel handed Sam the razor as he laughed along with his boyfriend of three years. Sam giggled as he got what Gabe had missed. Then Sam looked in the mirror, really looked this time. His face fell. Gabriel looked at the face of the boy he knew he would one day marry with confusion. Why did he look so unhappy? That’s what he wanted, right? Sam looked like he was about to freak out.  
“Gabe. I look awful. Like a giant cueball!”

Gabriel gasped as he looked at his boyfriend, “Samuel Winchester! Don’t you dare talk like that! Sam you are beautiful. Everytime I see you I forget how to breath! I don’t know what you see when you look in the mirror. But when I see you, I see a strong, loving, intelligent, absolutely amazing man. A man I can not wait to spend my life with. A man I can’t imagine myself without, because I wouldn’t want to live without him. And I love you more than you will ever know. God I am so in love with you.”

Gabriel grabbed Sam’s shoulders and turned him around to face him. Gabriel moved his hands from Sam’s shoulders to his face, and kissed him with all he had, trying to put as much love in the kiss as he could. When he pulled away, Sam’s lips were red and swollen and he looked at Gabriel in awe. Gabe pecked his lips one more time before smiling at him. Then he walked back to Sam’s room. Sam sat there for a moment still in awe of what Gabriel had said before following Sam back to his room. They sat on Sam’s bed again, facing each other this time. 

“Gabe?” Sam whispered.

“Yes babe?” Gabriel ran his hand over Sam’s bare head.

“Did you really mean all that? What you said in the bathroom?”

Gabriel just stared at his newly bald boyfriend. He couldn’t believe that after his mini monologue back there that Sam still didn’t get it. He sighed, “Sammy, for as intelligent as you are, you really can be stupid sometimes.”

Sam’s face fell slightly, “So you didn’t mean it?”

At that, Gabriel literally face-palmed. “OF COURSE I meant it Sam! I wouldn’t have said it if I hadn’t meant it. I love you so much it hurts. And when this is all over, I’m gonna marry you. And you’re gonna have a ring on your left hand so the whole world knows how much I love you.”

Sam smiled so wide Gabe was nervous that it might split his face, “I wish I had one now.”

Gabriel’s eyes went wide when he realized that he had kinda, sorta, accidentally, on purpose proposed to Sam, and he’d said yes. Gabriel ripped his class ring off his finger and thrust it at Sam. Trying to not look like an idiot, he put on his best smile and said, “As you wish.”

Sam giggled, “Did you just quote The Princess Bride at me?”

“So what if I did? What are you gonna do about it?” 

Sam rolled his eyes, “Inconceivable.” Then he grabbed Gabriel by the front of his shirt and kissed the daylights out of him.


	3. The Swan and The Song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam's first time in for chemo, nervous and alone he walked in to the room. He went in without anyone and left with the boy he loves and two new friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See the end for notes! For now enjoy the chapter!!!

Sam sat in the blue chair in a large hospital. Two other boys had walked in at the same time. By the looks of them, he decided all three of them were there for the same reason. Sam looked at them as they talked to one another. They knew each other well and were obviously close, together maybe? Sam wasn’t sure yet. One was a tall, thin, blond with icy blue eyes. He had a voice that was easy to listen to, charming, smooth. The other boy had chocolate brown eyes and hair. He was shorter than the other, just by a little though, they were both still above average, but shorter than Sam, of course.

Soon enough they noticed Sam. The blue eyed boy turned and spoke first, “You’re new. The name’s Lucifer, this is my boyfriend Michael.”

“And yes, before you say anything, we are in fact named Lucifer and Michael.” The brown eyed boy, Michael, giggled.

Sam smiled, happy that they wouldn’t shun him for being gay, which wasn’t always the case in Kansas. “Sam, Sam Winchester.”

Michael shook his hand first, “Nice to meet you Sam. First time, huh?”

Sam nodded, and Lucifer looked at him with a sad face before he said, “Well, welcome to Hell. We are the main residents, how long should we be expect to be seeing you?”

“Lucifer!” Michael chided.

“No, no!” Sam said. “It’s fine really. I’m pretty hard to offended, being gay in Catholic school gives you a tough skin. Glad I switched to public school freshman year... Anyway, to answer your question, I don’t know, I just found out last week. I know it doesn’t look great. They said if they had caught it six months. Now that they have, I have to spend time in hell every monday, and possibly wednesday, for a year. And There’s a possibility I will have to loose my left leg. Osteosarcoma.”

“Oh.” Lucifer said, looking as if he felt bad for something. “So you’ll probably be around a while then. It’ll be nice to get to know someone. Sorry, if I ever come off as a dick, but as you’ll learn in here you’re careful to not get to know people. It never seems to turn out well. You’re best friends with someone Monday and Friday they’re dead and there’s nothing anyone can do about it.”

“Lucifer, you have to stop beating yourself up over Alistair. There was nothing you could do babe. He was just too sick.” Michael said putting his hand on Lucifer’s arm.

“I know.” Lucifer looked down, then he laughed to himself. “That guy was such an asshole, a funny asshole, but an asshole nonetheless.”

“I’m really sorry.” Sam said.

“It’s fine. Just sucks. They thought he was doing so well, everyone was so shocked, no one thought he’d recover. But they took him off the chemo because they thought it was gone. He was off chemo Monday, and off earth Friday because of a tumor no one caught in his pancreas. His luck ran out. Enough about that, where are your people Sam? No one goes through their first dose without someone there.”

“I guess I do. My dad has to work to pay for this and he told dean he could ditch today because he has a big test and needs a scholarship. My boyfriend wanted to try to come, but his parents won't let that happen.” Sam sighed. Michael and Lucifer seemed nice enough but he really wished he had Dean or Gabe with him.

As if on cue, someone came running in the room. Someone with golden hair and eyes, standing just 5’7”. Gabriel. He ran up to Sam and Sam threw his arms around him.

“Gabriel!!” Sam said excited. “You came. I’m so glad you’re here.”

“Sammy, you really think I’d let you go through this alone? If you think that you are about as wrong as Elphaba is Green.”

Sam smiled and bent down to press a soft kiss to Gabriel's lips. Michael and Lucifer giggled, then Michael said, “You must be the boyfriend.”

“Damn skippy.” Gabriel said smiling.

Michael looked confused, “Isn’t the phrase damn straight?”

Gabriel laughed loudly once, “Not if you’re a flaming homo!” He then proceeded to smack Sam’s ass, and Sam turned a little red.

Lucifer burst out laughing as well, “I can assure you, Michael is about as gay as they come. As am I. The name is Lucifer, by the way.”

Gabriel began to giggle uncontrollably, “So what you’re telling me is, all the archangels are flaming homosexuals.”

Lucifer looked thoughtful for a moment. “That about sums it up, yes.”

Gabriel looked up at his boyfriend, and Sam’s stomach did a flip, “I like your friends Sammy.”

“Thanks?” The other three boys said in unison.

Sam looked at the clock, 11 am. The nurse would be in any minute. Gabe say the look on Sam’s face and squeezed his hand. Sam gave him a warm smile that told him Sam was so glad he was there, then Sam squeezed his hand back.

They looked over to Lucifer and Michael, who had pushed two of the blue chairs together. Michael reached for Lucifer’s hand, he accepted it, then turned to Sam, “Well, pull up a chair, you too Gabe, it’s gonna be a long 4 hours in hell.”

Just then a woman in scrubs walked in the door behind them and smacked Lucifer on the back of the head as she went, “Behave yourself Luci. Do not scare him on his first day.”

Michael and Gabriel tried, unsuccessfully, to stifle giggles and Sam smiled as he looked at the sassy chemo technician. She wore maroon scrubs and black skechers. Her long brown hair was pulled back into a ponytail. Sam could have sworn he’d heard that voice before but he hadn’t seen her face yet. Then she turned around.

“Mrs. Harvelle?”

“Hello Sam. Did Jo not tell you? You’re on my list. As soon as I heard I made sure I’d be the one taking care of you.” She smiled.

“No, she didn’t. Figures though.” Sam said. “Thanks.”

“Of course honey. You boys are sons to me, I’ve known your daddy 23 years. Now, let’s get you hooked up to the pre-chemo cocktail.”

“Pre-chemo cocktail?” Sam and Gabe asked in unison.

“Sam honey, I know you, so I know you went on webMD even though I’m sure you know that’s a bad idea. But that means you know that chemo is brutal, we are basically pumping poison into you in hopes it kills the cancer before it kills you. It tares you up pretty good, but it gets the cancer. So we give you painkillers and a load of anti-nausea medications.” Ellen said.

Sam took a deep breath and Lucifer looked at him with sympathy, “Hey Sam, it may suck but it’s gonna be okay.”

“Thanks Lucifer.”

“Anytime.”

“Hey Sammy.” Gabriel said and Sam looked over, “I love you.”

“Yeah?” Sam asked with a cheeky smile.

“Yeah.” Gabe smiled back.

“Maybe ‘Yeah’ could be our always.” Sam smiled.

Michael and Lucifer started cracking up and Gabriel groaned loudly, “Ugh, Sam you are such a teenaged girl!”

“But you love me!”

“God help me because I do.”

Ellen rolled her eyes, “You two are so cute I’m getting sick to my stomach.”

“Oh no Ellen,” Michael laughed. “What will you do surrounded by so much gay fluff.”

Ellen snorted, “Vomit probably.”

Lucifer looked down at the needle in his right arm and grimaced, “After this, so will I.”

Ellen sighed, feeling slightly guilty even if it wasn’t her fault, “Come on now baby, your body has gotten so much better at dealing with the nausea since the first time. You have to stay positive Lucifer.”

“Come on, you met Michael here so it can’t be all bad.” Ellen tried hopefully.

It was Michael’s turn to speak up, “Mrs. H, have you ever been in love with someone who has cancer? It is awful. And beautifully terrifying.”

Lucifer squeezed Michael’s hand, their journey together had been amazing, neither had ever loved someone so much. But they also lived everyday knowing it could be their partner’s last. They gave each other sad looks and then looked at Gabriel. The golden eyed boy tried to look brave, but Sam knew him better than that. Sam instantly felt horribly guilty. Was he really going to drag Gabriel through a year of this? Maybe he should break up with Gabe for his own good? Gabriel pulled him away from this thought with one sentence.

“That may be Michael, but there is no way I am leaving Sam alone in this.” Gabe practically growled.

Michael gasped then sputtered, “No, No! That’s not at all what I was suggesting! I just meant-”  
Gabriel immediately backed down and sighed, “I know... it’s just there were some assholes making comments about the ‘sick fag’ at school before I came over here.”

Sam felt even worse, not because some homophobes at school were making fun of him, but because he could see what that did to Gabriel. He knew it hurt Gabriel to hear anything bad said about Sam, especially now. “Gabriel I am so sorry!”

A tear rolled down Sam’s face, but Gabriel wiped it away, “Hey, what are you sorry for? It’s not your fault there is hate in the world. You bring love into mine, you have nothing to be sorry for.”

Sam nodded his head and tried to stop the tears, while Ellen put the needle in his arm. “I’ll be back in an hour to put in the other bag.” She said before kissing the top of Sam’s head and leaving the room. Gabriel cuddled up to Sam as best he could despite the arms of the chair between them. Sam played with Gabriel's hair and they watched the Tv on the wall, it was playing reruns of Sam and Gabe’s favorite soap, One Tree Hill.

They all watched for an hour and Ellen walked back in with bags of chemo for each boy, aside from Gabriel of course. She hooked each one up to a bag of the poisonous liquid. About and hour and a half into Sam’s first bout of chemo, Lucifer reached into a small cooler he had brought in with him and pulled out four popsicles.

Sam gave him a look, Lucifer just smiled in a grimace-y way, “Chemo causes sores in your mouth, ice helps, but popsicles taste better.”

Sam smiled and thanked him before opening the cherry flavored treat and beginning to eat it. Out of the corner of his eye Sam could see Gabriel watching him suck on the popsicle. Sam decided he deserved to have a little fun, he pulled the popsicle as far into his mouth as he could and slowly and sultry pulled it from his lips. He swirled his tongue around the frozen treat and a low sound came from his boyfriend. Sam started to giggle and so did Michael and Lucifer. Gabriel didn’t find it nearly as funny.

“You alright there Gabriel?” Michael laughed.

“Oh come now Michael, taking all thing is for the first time, we all know how hard that is.” Lucifer said, then busted up laughing.

“Yeah,” Sam giggled, “Must really suck, huh babe?”

“Is that even a question Sam? You must already know, this place blows.” Michael laughed.

Gabriel was banging his head on Sam’s shoulder, “Sam I hate you.”

“Mmm, I love you too babe.” Sam laughed before pressing a kiss to the top of Gabriel’s head. That’s when Sam felt it, the first wave of nausea, and his demeanor completely changed. Gabriel felt the change right away. Sam was turning slightly green and Gabe didn’t know what to do. He looked with wide eyes at Sam and then over to Lucifer and Michael.

Lucifer pointed to the small trash can across the room. Gabriel jumped up and grabbed the can and barely got it to his boyfriend before Sam lost all he had eaten all day. That, Gabriel knew, was what Sam was dreading about chemo, it sounded silly when he said it out loud but Sam hated vomit and throwing up in general. He hated the feeling after too, the weakness. Gabriel knew that right now, it was becoming real for Sam, he knew Sam was understanding for the first time what he would go through for the next year.

When he stopped vomiting Sam put the trash can on the floor and looked at Gabriel with tears in his eyes. Gabriel pulled Sam into his arms and Sam cried into his shoulder. Michael and Lucifer looked at Sam, empathy written all over their faces. They had been there not long ago. But they didn’t give Gabriel the answer on how to fix this. There was nothing they could do, they didn't know Sam well enough. The only person that could calm Sam was Gabriel. And then he realized exactly what he had to do. He sang:

_“A flower bows to autumn,_   
_October river frozen still._

_Give way,_   
_Give way._

_But the sparrow, with his broken wing,_   
_Burrows down to wait for spring._

_Give way,_   
_Give way.”_

Gabe rubbed Sam’s back in soothing circles. Sam loved it when he sang, it always calmed him down. That’s one of the only way Gabriel had found to get Sam out of a panic attack. It was slowly working, so he kept going.

_“Sparrow, sparrow, too afraid to fly_   
_Sparrow, sparrow, too proud to try._   
_And he's oh so far from home._

_A spring and summer song to breathe,_   
_The steady turn of a fallen leaf._

_Give way,_   
_Give way.”_

Sam had stopped sobbing and was now just clutching at Gabriel. Gabriel continued to hold him, but whispered in his ear. “Sammy hey it’s okay. This is scary for everyone, but I’ve got you. But you know, I’d feel a lot better if you sang with me. Please?”

Then Gabriel began to sing again:

_“And just before the winter storm,_   
_Off to somewhere safe and warm._

_Give way,_   
_Give way.”_

_Finally Sam joined in with him:_

_“Sparrow, sparrow, too afraid to fly,_   
_Sparrow, sparrow, too proud to try._

_And he's so far from home._   
_Give way,_   
_Give way._

_Give way,_   
_Give way._

_Give way,_   
_Give way.”_

The two finished the song with perfect harmonies they had practiced what must have been a hundred times. Sam sang lower and Gabe sang in a near perfect falsetto, honestly he could probably convince you he was a girl if you only heard him singing in his falsetto, but he had the most beautiful voice Sam had ever heard no matter what part of his incredible range he was using. Michael and Lucifer started to clap and the other two boys blushed slightly. It had been such an intimate moment they had forgotten anyone else was there.

“That was beautiful.” Michael said with a tear in his eye.

“Well, it seems like you have figured out how you’ll get through this together. Music. When you guys sing Sam is completely relaxed, and you are too Gabriel. You are both very talented, by the way.”

“Thank you.” Sam and Gabe said at the same time. Then they smiled at each other and shared a kiss. They finished the last ten minutes and Gabriel drove Sam home as they listened to the Dogfight soundtrack, both thinking the same thing. Maybe they could get through this, it would suck (sometimes even worse than it had today), but maybe together, they could get through.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys like the latest chapter!!! I had fun writing it! The song is from one of my favorite musicals, Dogfight. There will be more musical references in chapters to come. Speaking of, what do you guys wanna see next? I'm having slight block, I have a few ideas but idk what I want to do. So tell me what yall wanna see!!! I might like the idea and run with it. I could prolly do a chapter with other characters too if you wanted to see more of like Michael and Luci or Jo or Destiel... Idk what I want to do and since you guys seem to like it I wanna do something you like!! Leave a comment! Or a Kudos! Or BOTH! It makes me so happy to see those! :)))


	4. Cancerland and The Redheaded Mystery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to meet Charlie!

“HOW ARE MY FAVORITE CANCER BITCHES DOING?” Charlie said bounding into the Rec room where Michael and Lucifer were. The room wasn’t all that exciting, light blue walls with an old tan couch, and a few multicolored bean bags acting as furniture. There was a large TV on one of the walls and a couple pretty cool gaming systems accompanied it. On another wall there was a black bookshelf with some popular books and board games. 

Charlie on the other hand was very exciting. Interesting is probably a better word. Charlie, like Michael and Lucifer, lived in the hospital. But no one really knew why, that was what made her so interesting. Neither boy was any more in the know than any other patient in the hospital. There were many rumors though. One was that she was mental, and her parents dropped her off then changed their names and moved to Jamaica leaving the redhead behind. Another was that her parents used to own the hospital and after their tragic deaths (for which the Medical Examiner could not find a cause) the hospital went to her and having nowhere else to go, she moved in. There was also the one where she had a fatal disease that no one had seen before and they were studying her to try and find a cure. Lucifer knew it was probably something completely normal, but no one ever asked her and no one followed her to any treatments, so it was a mystery. He did however like to listen to the rumors, because there was one fact he knew, before she moved into the hospital, there was no record of anyone named Charlie Bradbury, he had checked.Both boys accepted that they would never know the reason she was there because she was a great friend. She was a huge nerd and a tech genius. She was also funny and a huge goofball. 

“Hey Charlie.” Michael and Lucifer said together.

“So what’s new in Cancerland? ... Huh Cancerland, sounds like a sick and twisted version of Candyland.” Charlie asked plopping down on a beanbag. 

“We acquired a new citizen.” Michael responded.

Charlie pulled a face, “Oh fuck. That poor guy, how long’s he got?”

Lucifer gave her a small smile, Charlie had been Alistair’s friend too, so she was cautious about who she became friends with just like him. “He’ll be going through chemo for a year. He said the docs say they caught it in time.” 

“I hope they are right.” Michael said. “I liked the two of them.”

“Wait there’s two of them?” Charlie asked. 

“Well, not exactly. There’s Sam, he has osteosarcoma. Then there’s his boyfriend, Gabriel. They seem like they’ll be fun to have around.” Michael answered. 

“As long as we’re still around.” Lucifer commented. Michael and Lucifer were both terminal. This is why they had to live in the hospital, they were both on clinical trials that seemed to be working, for now. Michael liked to look on the bright side, he had hope the two of them would be okay one day. Lucifer was more realistic, he knew the two of them would probably die in this hospital. This was the only thing they really fought about.   
“Come on babe. Let’s not, please.” Michael said looking at him with panic in his eyes, as if he forgot about the terminal cancer and Lucifer just reminded him.

“Michael. I’m being realistic. We are both terminal, okay? At least we found each other before ... well you know.” Lucifer said shortly.

“Okay I do not want to witness this little tiff again so stop it or I’m outie.” Charlie said. She could always go visit her girlfriend, Bella, if they were going to argue about death. 

“She’s right Luci, we can have this conversation later. Or preferably not at all. Anyway Charlie you might get to meet him tonight, he left his blue sweater in the chemo room the other day. I texted him, he and Gabe might come pick it up.” 

“Okay sweet. I’ll hang out here then.” Charlie said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it was so short!!!! But I needed to add that info and I got block after that.


	5. The Songs and The Promises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look into the Novak house. :) FLUFF

Castiel walked in the door and knew immediately the only other person who was home was Gabriel. This wasn’t surprising, Castiel’s father, Chuck Novak, was a successful businessman who traveled quite a bit and his mother, Becky, went with him. So it was usually just Castiel and his many brothers at home. When his parents went on extended trips, which judging by the money left on the counter and the full fridge this was, his older brothers would go stay with other people. Gabriel liked to stay home at these times because he and Castiel were the only ones in the excessively large house.

Castiel knew Gabriel was the only one home because you could hear Gabriel's record player on full blast from just about anywhere in the house. This would never fly if their older brothers were around. Gabriel was Castiel’s favorite brother. Gabriel was always there for him whenever he needed someone. Knowing Gabriel better than just about anyone also came with this territory. The only one who knew Gabe as well as Cas was Sam. So Cas knew Gabe was in a bad mood as soon as we heard the music coming from Gabe’s speakers. The song was What The Fuck from If/Then.

Cas started to pull out some food to make for dinner. He and Gabriel took turned when it was just the two of them, and since Gabe was clearly having a bad day, he figured he would start. He started to cut up onions and garlic and put them in a pan to start spaghetti as he listened to the music.

_Hey you there with that face in the mirror,_   
_What the hell are you looking at?_   
_No really,_   
_Who are you there to judge me?_   
_You're exactly like me but flat_   
_I'm the one who has lived this life_   
_Grab the happiness that comes my way_   
_So I'm gonna say:_

Castiel was tearing up from the onions when the chorus came around. The first chorus of the song always made him giggle a little. It reminded him of when Gabriel decided he was going to ask out Sam for the first time, he had had a very eh what the fuck attitude. Or at least that’s the face he put on, truly Cas had known how nervous he had been to do it.

_What the fuck?_   
_Stay in the night_   
_There's a chance that it'll all be alright_   
_It's possible I'm pushing this a little too far_   
_But it's not like things can get a whole lot worse than they are_   
_I'm not running on a streak of good luck_   
_So what the fuck?_

The whole song really made him think of Sam and Gabriel. Maybe not the exact lyrics but the feeling they gave did anyway. Maybe that’s why Gabriel listened to it when he was upset. The second verse started and he was putting the ground beef into the pan.

_Another day of saving the planet_   
_One more night of nothing but tears_   
_And Stephen plays dumb, surprised that I want him_   
_Like we haven't been flirting for years_   
_And I know that I was out of bounds_   
_It was me somehow on the attack_   
_But then he kissed me back_

That part of the song reminded him of when Gabriel had come home from his first attempt to ask Sam out. It had not gone as planned. Gabriel had burst through the front door, freaking out. He hadn’t known what to say when asking the tall handsome boy out so instead he had pulled him down by the collar and kissed him. Then Gabriel, embarrassed had run out of Hairspray rehearsal. Then Gabriel had gone on to pretty much say exactly what the next chorus said:

_What the fuck?_   
_What's the deal?_   
_Can I ever just feel what I feel?_   
_I'm accomplished and I'm funny_   
_I've got wisdom and wit_   
_And it taste for certain men who will treat me like shit_   
_So romance has again run amok_   
_Oh what the fuck?_

Castiel smiled to himself at the memories. The poured the jar of tomato sauce into the pan with the ground beef, onions, and garlic. He added a few extra seasonings, to spice it up and make it taste less like jarred tomato sauce.

_What the fuck?_   
_What'd I do?_   
_How'd I end up lying naked with you?_   
_I was stone cold stupid sober, so I can't blame the drink_   
_I was needy, I was greedy, and I just didn't think_   
_That's a lie - I thought about it a lot_   
_I had lots of warning thoughts I forgot_   
_Just another bad decision, I guess_   
_Just another pile of crap in the mess_   
_But I've managed to involve my best friend_   
_Will my trail of sad mistakes ever end?_   
_'Cause I'm starting to suspect that I'm stuck_   
_Like a schmuck_   
_And I suck_   
_What the fuck?_

This last part of the song pretty much summed up the end of their third show together. The night of the last show, the cast party had been at the Novak house. Sam and Gabe had been together almost two years at that point and slept together for the first time. The next morning Gabriel was scared that that would change their relationship, because Sam was the first decent guy Gabriel had been with. He had had a rough freshman year. He would be with guys who would hit it and quit it. He had his heart broken countless times and had no self worth. But then he found Sam, who loved him and saw the best in him, and for the first time he really saw the value he had. Castiel would be forever grateful to Sam for that.  
When the food was done Cas yelled up to Gabe, who turned down the music and came down to eat. They sat together at the table and talked about their days. Castiel talked about how he had visited Dean in the gym after his football practice, Gabe had made a dirty joke. He wasn’t entirely wrong either... Gabriel talked about how he was so proud of how strong Sam was, but wished there was something more that he could do for the boy who gave him everything. Castiel gave him a look, “Gabriel. You must be joking. Sam loves you more than anything in the world. You just breathing makes this 100 times easier for him. Dean says the days when you aren’t able to come to chemo are his roughest days. Says just a goofy text from you seems to give him strength. Please don’t forget that.”

Gabriel looked up from his plate to look at his brother. “Thanks Cassie. That made me feel a lot better, you have know idea.”

“Of course.”

They did the dishes and put the food away together. Then Castiel took a long shower. When he had changed into his pajamas and brushed his teeth, he left the bathroom. He walked past Gabe’s door, which was cracked just a little bit, Cas stopped to listen to his older brother. Gabriel's music choice had changed to Ed Sheeran and it was much quieter now. Gabriel was playing his guitar and singing along. He was much louder than the record, it was like the record was just there for backup. As the last cords died down there was soft clapping. Sam was on speaker phone listening to Gabriel play.

“That was so beautiful Gabriel. Thank you.” Sam’s voice was barely a whisper over the phone, but you could tell he was crying happy tears.

“Thanks Sammy.” Then Gabe sighed. “It’s getting pretty late kiddo, we should probably go to sleep.”

“Okay... Hey Gabe?”

“Yeah Sammy?”

The smile was audible in Sam’s voice. “Will you play that at our wedding?”

Gabriel let out a little exasperated laugh, “Yeah Sammy, I’ll play anything you want.”

“And Gabe, one more thing.” Sam said sounding slightly unsure.

“What’s up Sammy?”

“Can you not hang up? I mean we can go to sleep but I sleep better when you’re here, I think it might help me sleep if you stayed on the line.”

“Of course babe. I love you so much Sam.”

“I love you too Gabriel. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight love.”

Castiel stood in the hallway for a moment and smiled. He had just heard a very private and heartfelt conversation, and he felt bad almost as if he ruined the moment by hearing it. But he couldn’t help but smile, he was so glad that they had each other. They deserved to have someone love them so deeply. He decided he would somehow work in a way to tell Gabe to have Sam stay with them while their parents were gone into a conversation tomorrow morning.

When Castiel got into his room, he saw he had a text on his phone from Dean.

**_You should have heard what I just heard between Sammy and Gabriel. I kind of feel like a dick for listening in, but I am so glad Sam has your brother Cas. -DW_ **

Castiel smiled down at the screen, imagining Dean in his position and Sam in Gabe’s in the situation that had just happened.

**_I did hear it actually, and I feel the same way. -CN_ **

**_Also at their wedding I get to be the best man, you are so the maid of honor. lol -DW_ **

**_You wish Winchester. Sam is so the bride, which makes YOU maid of honor. - CN_ **

**_No WAY! Gabe is SOOOO the bride! -DW_ **

**_Here how about this. They are both the groom, and one of us is best man and the other is man of honor. Sound good? -CN_ **

**_Sounds perfect. I bet when we get married Sammy and Gabe will have the same argument. Haha. -DW_ **

Castiel liked the sound of “when we get married.” He was smiling like an idiot at his phone.

**_But Sam and Gabriel are way more dramatic, so it will last longer. Haha. I can’t wait for our day, I can’t wait to be a Winchester. -CN_ **

**_I can’t either. I love you Cas. -DW_ **

**_I love you too Dean. -CN_ **


End file.
